He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
