I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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