Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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