Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
