Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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