i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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