I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
