I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
