it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
