he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
