i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
