I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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