so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize