Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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