So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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