He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
