distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We are all done wearing pants today
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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