In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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