The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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