is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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