Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
