so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
