Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
