Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My penis needs a shock collar
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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