Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
