this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
