I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
