ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
