he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
