i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
