You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
