i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
