how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
