i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
