Just cropdusted the office
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
