I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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