I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
