I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
