My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
