You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
