I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
