Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
