Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize