come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just cropdusted the office
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
