gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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