Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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