Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
