At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
