she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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