worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
