How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so let's talk penis.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
