He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
