I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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