i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
