I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
