but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
