4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
