yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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