ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
