i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
