i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
