ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
