Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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