the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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