Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
